Thursday, October 11, 2007

 

The Science of Lap Dances

Most female mammals enter a period called estrus, in which they are most fertile. This is also referred to as going into heat. Makes the female want to "do it." I believe that's the technical term. However, human females don't seem to enter into such an obvious condition. It might be presumed that this is one of the advantages in being highly evolved. Maybe the modern woman has better things to do, than to do the modern man.

It turns out that during a woman's regular cycle, there are times when men find her more attractive. So even if she doesn't go into heat and want guys more than she usually does, she goes into something that makes guys want her more than they usually do. It's science. And science is all about the studies:

Exotic dancers make more money during the week or so before they begin menstruating than at any other time of the month. This according to New Mexico psychology professor Geoffrey Miller, who studied the ovulatory cycle of several dancers and found that during estrus, when women are considered most fertile, dancers made roughly $354 per shift -- almost twice what they took home in tips during menstruation and roughly a quarter more than they made during the luteal phase, directly after menstruating.

Is it just me, or did the Budweiser Real American Hero music just kick in? And I always thought geology was the science you got into for the chicks. Studying lap dancers. And I thought it was cool when I heard you could do your master's thesis on Star Trek.

I question Miller's word choice when he uses a word like "leak" in a discussion of menstrual cycles:
Dancers appear more attractive to club patrons just before ovulation because they "signal" or "leak" signs of their peak fertility, Miller writes.

So that's why that girl wanted to do that naughty naughty dance in Superbad!

Just when I'm not sure what to make of this Miller guy, he wins me back with this turgid prose:
Miller describes the dancer-client transaction as one of "subtle behavioral signals that fly below the radar of conscious intention or perception, adaptively hugging the cost-benefit contours of opportunistic infidelity."

Nothing says romance like the cost-benefit contours of opportunistic infidelity. The sexy beast!

If I ever go to New Mexico, I want to party with this guy.
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