Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Rockstar! Zombies! Bird Attacks! And Ryan Wins The Week.

Rockstar went fairly well tonight. None of the performances were disasters, but not all of them were great either.

Let's start with the original songs by Patrice and Ryan. Patrice sang "Beautiful Thing" and Ryan sang "Back of Your Car." I liked both songs, but especially Ryan's song. For Patrice, this was the first time I enjoyed her on this show. I don't think she's right for this band, but singing songs she's written for herself and her style and comfort level, maybe she could make a go of it. Nice job Patrice.

Ryan's song I liked a lot. This was my favorite performance by him. Maybe these two are just evidence that you can't help but have more passion and energy in a performance when it's your song. No matter how much you like someone else's song, you may always do better with one of your own. I definitely want Ryan to stay.

Magni sang that "Teen Spirit" song. Hmmm. My problem is that I like the song, but I'm almost sick of hearing it by now. Magni's performance was great, as usual. The problem is that it was "as usual." Last time, I said a good singer has to be able to overcome a bad song. Maybe you have to be able to overcome a good song, too.

I was waiting for Storm to make me comfortable again with liking her. She did the Aerosmith song "Crying." It didn't work. I like the song. Her performance was ok, but she's almost getting to the point of having what I call "The Lukas Problem." Sure, I liked the nekkid pics, and linked to them, but she's going to the well a little too often with the sexual come-ons in the performances. It's like porn. A little once in a while can be fun, but if you watch it every night, it gets old fast. If I never see her squat to dry-hump the stage again, it'll be too soon. She's like a dancer at a small time strip club who only knows one or two moves and does them over and over. The other problem was pointed out to me by Miss Tori: Storm's makeup and jerky movements make her look like a zombie half the time. A zombie stripper. Yeeesh! One of the guys said she was 1000% better than last week. She should have gone for 2000%. I was not surprised to see her in the bottom three in the quick vote tally at the end.

Dilana sings well and her performance this time was OH NO! Dilana LOOK OUT! A bird is flying right at your face! Ouch that had to hurt! It smashed your face and the wings detached from its body and stuck to your eyelids! You didn't even have time to pluck them off before going on national TV. Too bad. I still like her. I don't care so much for the song. This was the first week that I felt like she was maybe a little predictable. I hope it was just the eyelashes that are subconsciously influencing me against her. Maybe it was not liking the song. I just didn't have that same good feeling I normally have after seeing her perform.

Toby + Layla = Unabomber. People with hoods, please hear me. If it's not snowing or raining, you look retarded. Like the song. Toby was ok. I won't miss him.

Lukas did that Killers song. You know, the one that's not "Mr. Brightside." I said before that when Lukas did "Creep," he turned me around. I didn't like him before, and then I did like him. Miss Tori asks how people can hate him so much. Then she asks me if I still like him. I had to tell her I'm back to hating him again. And it's not just that I don't care for the song. She asked me why I don't like him anymore. All I could tell her is that sometimes it's possible not to like a person, and at the same time be unable to articulate even a single reason why. Is it the sunglasses? Is it the eyebrows? Is it the facial hair? Is it the hair on top of his head? Is it the singing? I have no idea! I just don't like him. No offense, Lukas.

I am satisfied with the early voting bottom three of Patrice, Storm, and Toby. If Lukas drops to the bottom three tomorrow, it wouldn't kill me. Dilana, Magni, and especially Ryan I want to stay.

Read good coverage by people who know what they're talking about from
Bill at So Quoted
Alan at What's Alan Watching
Philip at Life in Memphis
You may have to check back over the next day or two for their reviews, but Alan's is up right now, and Bill and Philip have plenty of other good stuff to keep you occupied.

Oh, and is anyone else dreading the fan's choice show? I don't necessarily want to hear any of the songs performed again, especially if they're performed by the same person who sang it before. At the very least, if you vote on that, please vote for the wildcard songs so we can hear a song that's at least new to that singer.
You and I should just agree never to discuss Ryan. The problem I've had with Storm and Lukas is that they look unnatural, they're just pretending to be rock stars. Storm's ballady stripper act never did much for me and despite Lukas' ability to be eye-catching, I'm not convinced of his overall abilities.

Here's how I finally figured out how to describe Lukas. He's a marsupial impersonation of Mick Jagger; he's all strut, no cock.

I skipped last week's review, but should have something up later today. Until then, go listen to this Patrice song. That's some damn fine singing.
I can't stand Lukas. That "marbles in the throat" singing is driving me crazy. I think Jason hit it on the head initially but the voters never caught on.

Next week I'm voting repeatedly for everyone but him.
I was fairly happy with Patrice going home. I mean that in the sense that I don't feel too bad for her, seeing as how she got her song out there and it was pretty good. I feel good for her chances to get somewhere from here.

Toby in the bottom makes the band look silly when they put him up as their favorite of the week. Are they wrong, or are the fans wrong?
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