Imaginary Conversations and Random Thoughts

While I'm catching up on my Treacher, I wonder howcome I never heard that Superman has a Superschlong? Of course, everyone knows how they touch up things to make women appear more . . . womanly, and reduce flaws, that sort of thing. But in Superman's case, they've decided he's too manly, and they have to reduce his manly perfection. Brandon Routh, the transport mechanism for the Rod of Cheney +5, will be having girls lining up behind a velvet rope for his, ummm, "velvet rope." An insider cuts to the heart of the matter:

It’s a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don’t want it up on the big screen. We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.

Erase his package with digital effects? Who knew Lorena Bobbit had found employment with a major studio? Sounds like just another front in the War Against Boys. Now, though, the War Against Boys is not only in the classroom, but the bedroom as well.