Monday, September 12, 2005


The Trouble With Mooburgers (Plus Marginal Pic)

So here's the thing. This place has moo in the name somehow. I can't remember the exact name, so I'm just going with Mooburgers. It's near the theater Miss Tori and I frequent, and we stopped there for lunch one day. The food was ok. Rationally, I could eat there again. However, because I'm so fussy sometimes, I won't be eating there again. Like most places, they give you free refills on sodas. At most places, they'll bring you a new cup of soda, and take away the empty one, but not Mooburgers. They take your cup back to the soda machine, stick it under the spout, and fill it up again. Which in and of itself might not be too bad. However, this particular service person never removed the straw, and never gave me a new one. Instead, while the filling was going on, the tip of my straw was rubbing all over the spout. How do I know whose straw last rubbed on that nozzle, with all their cootie containing drool smearing the spout where my straw now rubbed? And who after me was going to get my drool all over the tip of their straw?
Then again, that wasn't my main concern. Consider this photo:

This is the art on the wall at Mooburgers. Where do I begin? How about this? The cows are being presented as people. They stand, they walk and talk, maybe they're even dancing. So my burger is coming from some ground up intelligent supercows. Or maybe not, because careful examination gives rise to something more disturbing. Check out lady in pink on the far right, and tuxedo man she's grinding up against. They're holding hands, but what's that coming over tuxedo man's shoulder? Looks like a cow "arm" is joining into a three-way hand holding. Who knows what other sorts of three ways are going on when nobody's looking? I submit that Mooburgers makes their hamburgers out of ground up hybrid human/cow offspring that result from bestiality sessions on the glamorous Mooburger Ranch. I mean upper left yellow hair lady is practically frenching the cow. I haven't seen a cow get frenched like that since the so-called groundbreaking lesbian kiss episode of Roseanne all those years ago. Full disclosure: I think the Mooburger kiss is actually more titillating.

The pic is marginal, but a first step with a camera phone for me. So cut me some slack.

(Marine stuff to come; still working on the pic)
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