Monday, June 27, 2005


Hey, Hands Off The Kung Pao

So the trip was great. More stuff later, but here's the food stuff:

So being finicky is not normally a bad thing. We are fortunate to live in a country where we have an almost unlimited number of choices available to us. The person who loves everything is easily pleased, and the person who loves one thing can also be pleased without much difficulty. Then again, the person who loves one thing can be totally ripped off by other people who are just trying to be helpful.

Case in point: eating at a Thai restaurant. Having a reputation for choosiness in my food selections, there was some concern among the fam that I might not enjoy the items on the menu. I must say that while I am choosy, at almost any place I can find something I might like, or can at least tolerate. I'm like the reed that bends with the wind; I can get along. Besides, isn't it all just Chinese food with different names? So I ask if Thai food = spicy, and was assured that there would be plenty of mild choices. But I like the spicy! Well, then in that case, I'll be all set, according to the aforementioned concerned fam. And so I'm convinced that I'll be ok. Now fast forward to the actual place, I think called Sunset Thai, on, coincidentally enough, Sunset Boulevard. Me travel good in summer!

We sit down, and looking over the menu, I do find something I like: Kung Pao chicken. Mmmmmm. Spicy chicken.

There's ten of us. And somewhere in this brain trust, some Einstein wannabe comes up with the brilliant idea. The idea that drives a chopstick into my heart. "Let's order a bunch of dishes, and everyone can take a little bit and we'll share it all." Oh, how I hated those words. Indulge me in phrasing it another way. "Hey Johnny, order something you want, perhaps the only thing on the menu you have even a remote interest in eating, save two bites for yourself and give the rest to everyone else. But don't feel sad, oh no. You'll get to have plenty of disgusting stuff that the other jerks you're related to somehow think is good."

"Bend like a reed. Bend like a reed. Bend like a reed." To myself, I said that. Yeah. It didn't help as much as I hoped. But I soldiered on. I couldn't complain, because I was too busy pulling out the chopstick that was jabbed in my back. You see, right on the heels of the "sharing is caring" solution to ordering, it was decided that we couldn't order anything spicy, because some people don't like spicy, and how would the sharing go if there was something spicy, and someone couldn't try it because they don't like spicy?

Ummm hello? Picky eater here! So I can't even order the one thing I want because it wouldn't be fair to someone who doesn't like spicy, and yet I'm going to be stuck with gross stuff that everyone else wants? What was so bad about each person having his own plate with his own food that he likes his own dang self? So I ended up with some rice, and a couple of shrimp, and a cup of some sort of soup that had mushrooms.

Now as the dinner is winding down, the former Inspector Clouseaus masquerading as dining companions are suddenly Heisenberg clones, and the person sitting across from me makes a comment about how I didn't eat much. Well no freakin duh! I didn't eat much of stuff I don't like. Who could have guessed?

And now there's a couple of bowls of ice cream making the rounds. Mint tea ice cream and coconut something ice cream. I don't like coconut. As for mint tea? For all I know, it might have been good, but have you met my cousin Spite? Needless to say, I wasn't screaming for ice cream. Ditto for the banana rolls. They're like egg rolls, but with banana inside. And you get chocolate sauce for dipping. Also could have been good, but I was sulky and refused them.

Finally, we're down to the fortune cookies. Which I do like, and wasn't too stubborn to refuse. I forget what the fortune was, but don't worry; someone else will remember. After all, between the ten of us, we only had three different fortunes. Put another way, three other people got the same fortune I did. Time to make a call to the cookie factory, Sunset Thai.

What really ticks me off? I had to eat food I didn't like to have a meal with sensible portions and reasonable nutrition levels. And eating healthy, balanced meals is what I hate most of all.
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