Sunday, May 01, 2005

 

Casanova Frankenstein of Rumoropolis. Part Four

My little angels you’ve been so patient and there’s a lot going on to tell you about.

Miss Tori and I are riding this rumor wave as far as it will take us, and being the occasionally devious sort, I was inspired at a recent cocktail hour to up the ante. What inspired me? Princess Wolfie became the second one to ask me personally if Miss Tori and I are going out or not. You may also recall that Neighbor Lady broke the silent treatment the week before when she was the first to actually ask me. Mostly, people just ask Miss Tori.

It occurred to me that I could throw Princess Wolfie off the scent by asking her for advice on asking Miss Tori out. Of course I had to get Miss Tori on board too. And she came through like a champ, recycling an old story about her that she had a bad workplace romance in the past, and even though I’m a super guy and all, she’s not sure if she can take that chance again. Me, a super guy; see what a great story it is? Time out.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the story that a woman decides if she’ll sleep with a guy in the first five seconds after she meets him. I am not one of those five second guys. I may be another sort of five second guy, but I’m definitely not a guy about whom the five second sex decision is made, at least in the affirmative. I’m more of the Costanza type, as illustrated by this bit of dialogue from the show about everything. GEORGE: What's the difference? You know they way I work, I'm like a commercial jingle. First it's a little irritating, then you hear it a few times, you hum it in the shower, by the third date it's "By Mennen!" Time in.

Miss Birdie is one client who also thinks Miss Tori and I have some sort of thing going on. We decided to tweak her too. She’s carried notes back and forth for us, and the cherry on top of the Princess Wolfie misdirection is having Miss Birdie carry this particular note to Princess Wolfie. On her way back, she passed Miss Tori and felt compelled to tell her that I had written a note to PW. Miss Tori is quite a little knife twister. I had to laugh when I heard that she gave some irritated comment to Miss Birdie about how I better not be note cheating on her.

So the note has been delivered. We’ll take a Tough Boss detour next time, and hopefully I’ll have a reply from Princess Wolfie shortly.
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