Thursday, February 03, 2005


Team Magnum Cocktail Hour. Part Ten

A while back I mentioned that Team Magnum would be playing hooky from work and visiting a reasonably local gaming type establishment. Unfortunately, even with a signed napkin, we just couldn’t generate the critical mass necessary to make it happen. Instead, it looks like we’ll just hitch a ride on a weekend bus trip the office is organizing. Big disadvantage: we’ll have to share the bus with non-Magnums. Big advantage: We can drink all the way there and all the way back. We can live with that.

The other topic was the possibility of having a cocktail hour at TJ McBoobies, our local drinks, loud music, and topless dancers emporium. We’ve discussed this before. And I think both times, the idea was first brought up by one of the Team Magnum Babes. You may recall that last time, I went on about how I was glad that when I visit TJ McBoobies type establishments, I visit the ones three towns over. I wouldn’t have to worry about being recognized. There was even a little dream sequence of how wrong something like that could go, including my secret undercover strip club patron name. If you don’t recall, you can look here.

This time we discussed it a little more seriously. Apparently, I wasn’t as out of the woods as I thought. It was pretty much agreed that we really couldn’t go to our local TJ McBoobies. Running into clients in there would be uncomfortable and could create a difficult situation. So it was also decided that we should go to one of the ones three towns over. Yikes! Time out.

My favorite person at the place I take my laundry to is the one who knows my name. Knowing the customer’s name, or just recognizing the customer even if you don’t know the name, generates positive reactions from customers. Which means good workers try to remember customers. Time in.

Three towns over? My wacky dream sequence might become a real life nightmare. I was slightly concerned about this turn of events. That is, until I remembered that these are cocktail hours after all, and I’m on safe ground again. There is pretty much zero chance that three towns over we’ll be visiting a place that I’ve visited.

You see, in our area, there is a sharp line between TJ McBoobies and TJ McCoochies. And not just in what the name implies. There’s a catch. If you want to run a TJ McCoochies, you may not serve alcoholic beverages. Drinks aren’t a factor for me in this decision, so if I go three towns over, I’ll go whole hog (or whole pig, if you prefer that term ladies) and visit a TJ McCoochies.

Fortunately for me, Team Magnum loves the liquor. If we go, and that’s still a big if, we’ll be hitting TJ McBoobies. I just have to make sure that wherever we go, I get there first and arrange for one of the girls to come up to one of the guys and act like she knows him. Or would it be funnier if I arranged for one of the girls to come up and act like she knows one of the Team Magnum Babes?

Actual Update: Promises, promises. I still owe you the matchup of mine and Miss Lola’s psychological quirks. And the chance to analyze me through media choices (yeah, I still can’t come up with a funny descriptor for that one). The rest of that list is taken care of. While I’m at it, I may as well tell you that I keep these lists on the backs of envelopes of this or that bill I’ve been sent. They get covered with scribbles as I scratch items off and add others. Sometimes I’ll put in key bits and reminders just to make sure I don’t forget. If a good title pops up, I’ll jot it down. My question for you: Should I stick those envelopes in a drawer or something or just chuck them as they get full?

Update: I forgot that the whole point of coming back for an update was to tell you that even though I owe you that other stuff, I think the next post will be a new adventure of Casanova Frankenstein in Rumoropolis: The Revenge of the Rumor, or, A Rumor of Revenge (still trying to decide which one I like best).
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