Friday, January 07, 2005


Team Magnum Cocktail Hour. Part Eight

Alternate title: It’s Déjà Vu All Over Again

For some of you at least. I guess most of the focus of this report will be on Miss Lola. You can read the pertinent stuff here.

Turns out I had some of the details wrong. But Miss Judi has a few in her and she was fired up this time. So let me give you some rather more accurate background.

Ok we still have Miss Lola and Wesley and Beverly. I was a little off before. Miss Lola still has a crush on Wesley. She cooks him meals. She does laundry for him. Not all the time, but occasionally. She has also helped him out with money. And then there’s Beverly.

Beverly is Wesley’s other woman. I had understood previously that Beverly was also in a Miss Lola situation. Turns out, she’s actually sleeping with Wesley! So he’s got the sex girlfriend, and Miss Lola and her services.

What about Wesley? Princess Wolfie gives him a C-. A couple of beers later, she adjusts this to a D. For other women. For herself, Wesley is an F. This is as far as attractiveness is concerned. Neither myself nor Dr. Cool asked for our grades. But I’m not sure if we can trust Princess Wolfie completely on this, at least as far as other women are concerned. Now I haven’t met Wesley, but I suspect PW’s emotions got the better of her. She and Miss Judi have a rather dim view of Wesley, who they see as taking advantage of Miss Lola. I’m going to guess he’s a C+, at least once his personality kicks in. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

So Dr. Cool, Miss Judi, Princess Wolfie and I are trying to figure out why Miss Lola would still be putting up with this after three years, which is how long she has known Wesley. The gals both think that Miss Lola is somehow living in a little fantasy world, as far as Wesley is concerned. That Miss Lola is somehow telling herself that she and Wesley are like girlfriend-boyfriend or something, or that there is this possible future for them. Miss Judi happened to learn that Wesley has “affirmed” his feelings for Beverly. You know what I mean.

Miss Judi, trying to be a good friend, made an effort to break through the Wesley bubble Miss Lola was living in. And Miss Lola didn’t want to hear it. And Miss Judi felt Miss Lola was giving her the cold shoulder at the cocktail hour. Naturally, we’re discussing this after Miss Lola had left. And Miss Judi was ticked. How dare Miss Lola treat her that way? Here she is, trying to get Miss Lola to wake up and smell the coffee, why can’t Miss Lola appreciate the effort? Whenever Miss Judi would look at Miss Lola, Miss Lola would look away. Kind of ignoring her.

I told Miss Judi that sometimes there are things that people are just not ready to hear. And I agreed that it can be frustrating when people don’t live their lives the way we think they should. I was being sarcastic, but she was just tipsy enough to take it as sympathetic commiseration.

Now Dr. Cool is not fully convinced. He is at least willing to consider the possibility that maybe Miss Lola has been getting some sort of encouragement from Wesley. I think that, like me, he would prefer not to believe that Miss Lola could be so foolishly letting herself be taken advantage of.

This is the same Miss Lola who Princess Wolfie suggested I ask out. Well, I should say that Miss Lola was a close second, after Miss Tori. Remind me about her later. Now really, if Miss Lola is living in some sort of fantasyland, is she really someone I would want to go out with?

We got sidetracked for a bit when Dr. Cool defended Miss Lola by saying maybe she had had some “affirmation” from Wesley. You see, in the three years she had known Wesley, Miss Lola hadn’t dated anyone else. Dr. Cool could not see how she could go three years without sex. Therefore, she must have gotten something from Wesley, and simply hadn’t told anyone about it. Princess Wolfie asked Dr. Cool what his limit was. How long could he go without sex before he started to really feel it? Thirty hours was his answer. No one else offered a number, but did agree that three years was an exceedingly long time. Princess Wolfie even ventured a guess that Miss Lola might still be a virgin.

At this point, I was sort of wondering if my “expertise” in this area might be called upon. But nobody said anything. Nobody asked me what my limit might be. I suppose I could tell myself that means something, but Princess Wolfie tossed the question out there, Dr. Cool volunteered an answer, and we moved on.

I guess maybe that’s about it. As usual, a good time was had by all.
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