Friday, December 17, 2004


Team Magnum Christmas Party (Loose Threads Part Six: Conclusion)

Start with Part One. Then Part Two. And Part Three. Part Four please. Almost there, Part Five. Or scroll down til you hit Part One and just read up from there.

One of the hallmarks of Team Magnum is that we never synchronize our watches. Outside of work, I don’t think we’ve ever managed to get all of us together within even a half hour of our arranged meeting times. I was first to arrive, and final arrivals were a couple of hours later. Everyone had a food or drink assignment. For our purposes, food = appetizers and drink = beer. Miss Judi provided wine. I brought these little cocktail weenies. They're good. Ask me later.

Miss Judi was frantic in her last minute cleaning, which wasn’t necessary. Her place is great. But she did need some help with some light strings she had put up around the rooms. I tried to intimidate them back up on the wall, but eventually had to settle for reattaching the tape more securely by hand. Oh well.

Approximate orders of arrival after me: Mr Texas (this big tray of shrimp; I was his Secret Santa; found out later, he was mine!), Dr. Cool (with beer!). We drank several beers and Miss Judi got started on a bottle of wine. Neighbor Lady actually showed up (with a slab of cream cheese with salsa, and tortilla chips). A minor miracle. But she had to leave early. Miss Lola arrived (yes, that Miss Lola, with lumpia). Then Drinking Buddy and Princess Wolfie arrived (he drove; they brought egg rolls and more beer!). I think Copper (not officially Team Magnum) was last with something that I just can’t remember right now. I can kind of see it, an image of it, but I can’t call it all the way up.

Usual chit chat plus some good gossip. Copper was responding to an alarm at the office. He goes in and starts a walk through to check stuff out. Well he hears something and goes to this door. It’s the door to our former Big Cheese’s office (this took place a few years ago, before our current Big Cheese, who is pretty cool). Former Big Cheese shall be known as Dr. Cheese. One of his second in commands was a nice woman, Admiral Andie, who also is no longer at our office. You can see what’s coming, right? Copper caught them. You don’t really need all the details of sound and positioning, do you?

And so we had the gift exchange. After a minute or two of debate in my head, I finally decide to start with Miss Judi. She got a DVD player, one of those Wal-Mart super deals, or Target, or whoever. We agreed on $10, but I think it was ok to fudge it a little if a perfect gift came up. This was from Dr. Cool. He just learned last week that there is a little Kid Cool on the way. And he got a little kind of smooshy little baby football with a Bears logo. Plus, it plays sounds. You gotta love the noisy toys. I think that was from Miss Lola. Who got a couple of stuffed cartoon animals of some sort. I may have heard a Lilo in there, somewhere. She liked them. Crap I can’t remember for sure who is next. Ok Princess Wolfie (seriously, it’s over) got her gift, from Miss Tori, with an assist from me. Time out.

Ok you already know that I had been thinking about Secret Santa for a while before I found a good time to bring it up. Naturally, with all that time on my hands I was able to think about gifts. Actually, I only thought of gifts for two people. Two out of eight? Yeah, well you already know I’m no good at gifts. But for Drinking Buddy, it would have been a cool shirt from Frank J like this one here or this one here. And for Princess Wolfie, who has a slight fetish for sanitized hands, several small bottles of some brand or other of hand sanitizers plus a couple of big refill bottles. Time in.

So I suggested this to Miss Tori, and she followed my advice. My average is improving. It was a super hit. PW laughed her ass off. Drinking Buddy got this cool beer neon sign. And Mr. Texas and I somehow chose each other. Since PW had mentioned going to TJ MCBoobies , our local topless dancing emporium, for some future Team Magnum Cocktail Hour, I thought I would get him a pass to the club and some fresh dollar bills. I chickened out. Well, not exactly. Suggesting TJ McBoobies is good for a laugh after a few beers, but would we really set a date while we were sober? I would have felt stupid if we ended up deciding not to go. So I got him the South Park: Passion of the Jew dvd. Which was a big hit. And he got me . . . Time out.

Ok you must know that I haven’t exactly advertised this blog among my peers. Or among anyone. That’s why I made up all these wacky nicknames, to protect the innocent. It gives me some kind of deniability. Of course, the downside is that once or twice I’ve almost called the real people by the nicknames they have on here. I had not considered this possibility. I did say almost; I haven’t slipped so far. All of which goes to say that none of them associate me with being online, reading blogs, etc. Except that I’m kind of geeky. The good kind, I think. Now add this: The Onion is a funny read. I was not familiar with the print version. I had only heard about or read it online. So what should Mr. Texas get me but . . . Time in.

Our Dumb Century: 100 Years of Headlines from America’s Finest News Source. Presented by The Onion! Ok it may sound stupid to you, but for me, there was a strange feeling of cosmic symmetry to it.

Neighbor Lady left really early, and Miss Lola left. The rest of us are scattered about. I’m in the living room in a chair. Princess Wolfie is on the couch with Drinking Buddy and Mr. Texas. Miss Judi is in a beanbag chair. Copper and Dr. Cool are sort of in the dining room area. But whatever, people are moving about occasionally. And Princess Wolfie started channeling Damone again. But I’m tired now, so you’ll have to read about that in the Loose Threads: Epilogue tomorrow.
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