Sunday, November 07, 2004


Why I Hate TV Babies

So I don’t really remember the first music I purchased myself, thanks to Columbia House, back in, well hell, must be twenty years ago now. Which is scary in and of itself, actually being old enough to remember things that happened twenty years ago. But back to the music I can’t remember. I think Styx might have been involved. What I do remember was a cassette of Bill Cosby - Himself. One of the bits on there was “Natural Childbirth”. Pretty funny for me, but so was the rest of the tape. I listened to it a lot.

The thing is, practically every TV baby seems to be descended from that one bit. Childbirth scenes on TV would be far less disgusting if they just showed the real thing. They’ve all got the death grip, where childbirth mom squeezes prospective dad’s hand, causing him to writhe in agony. They’ve all got the “You did this to me!!!” rant, where everything is somehow the prospective dad’s fault. They’ve all got the drug moment, where childbirth mom rejects prospective dad’s advice on breathing, instead screaming “Give me drugs!” And after the baby arrives, they’ve all got the breast milk mix up, where one of dad’s male friends accidentally drinks some breast milk from the fridge.

That just tears it. I mean, you either drink milk from the carton, or you pour it from the carton into the glass, and drink it from the glass. I mean I don’t know of anyone who keeps milk in anything other than the carton they got from the store. And even if you did see a glass of what looked like milk, you didn’t put it there, someone else did. Why would you drink from someone else’s glass? And of course, once the mistake is discovered, you have the inevitable disgusted reaction, sometimes followed by the optional “Hmm, that actually tasted good” surprised facial expression. Give me a break.

So that’s why I hate TV babies.

I generally don’t hate real babies.
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?