Tuesday, October 19, 2004


Team Magnum on Team America. Plus Some Sex Stuff, So Be Warned

So I managed to hear back from some of our Team Magnum members who have gone to see Team America. Thumbs are up from Mr. Texas and Drinking Buddy. And then Princess Wolfie says to me it was too gross. I think my response was something like “Hey, Mrs. Bomb. Get out of the shelter.” I mean come on, it was puppets. I mean if she wants to see gross, she should wait for the DVD. There’s likely to be more that was cut from the sex scene to make the R rating.

My crack research staff went through the records and determined that the sex scene in the theatrical release pretty much fit the standards of your average porn flick. According to them, none of the positions were out of the ordinary. Now, the question remains as to whether or not your average everyday person would actually use all of the positions seen in the film. The staff only compared it to porn. For some reason, their own personal experiences were not consulted.

As a firm believer in the scientific method and the good that science can do, I personally am willing to do the experiments that would decide this issue one way or the other. All I need is a lab assistant. Hmmm, maybe “firm” was a poor word choice.

While the positions are obviously possible, are they really practical for your average couple? Based on Princess Wolfie’s reaction, it seems like the answer would be no. Well “seems like” just isn’t good enough for me! In fact, I resolve that by the end of the decade, I will have tried all those positions and reported safely back to you. Hey! That sounded like a Kennedy line! And it’s probably what he was thinking as he said his line about getting a man to the moon. It’s not too ambitious, is it? I mean, five years is probably enough time, even for me, right?

Well, that wasn’t too bad. Hope nobody fainted.

Oh yeah! Go see Team America!

And you can read another review here and another roundup of reviews here. You go look now!
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