Friday, August 06, 2004


I’m Your Sister! I’m Your Sister! What Movie?

I didn’t have any computer access while we were off at the wedding, so I wrote a bit on a notepad the hotel puts in the room. Sort of like what I did for this concert. Anyway, I couldn’t find a pen the first night, so I wrote this back at the hotel after the wedding and reception. But maybe a little background is in order.

So who’s getting married anyway? It’s the oldest daughter of this family: My uncle and aunt, Godfather and Mrs. Godfather, and their three kids Big E (she’s getting married), Little A (her younger sister), and Code Name Dolphin (little brother to both of them). Add in Mrs. Godfather’s brother, another uncle, Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky, and these are the relatives on this side of the family that I see at least occasionally. I mean, at least I can remember their names. Why don’t we start with Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky.

I’m no expert, but I think he is the sort that women would find good looking. He’s funny. He’s cool. He plays guitar, and unlike me, it sounds good. He can dance. How bout this? At the wedding, dancing with the bridesmaids, I mean, he’s 40, and I can just picture these 20-24 year old bridesmaids sort of swooning over him a little bit. What I’m saying is that he seems like the type who could sleep with as many women as he wants. He’s a bachelor, but it’s not because he wants to keep himself available to play the field. So a couple days after the wedding I ask Mrs. Godfather what the deal is. And it turns out I’m not the only one who wonders about these things. She has asked him in the past what the deal is, and even has asked Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky if he is gay. The conclusion seems to be that he is either afraid of success or immobilized by a fear of failure. He is constantly getting jobs and places to live from various relatives, and also attends college. For about 19 years now. But he’s graduating soon. If it weren’t for all of the family support, I don’t know what would happen to him. He’s a puzzle. But he’s really a nice guy.

But enough of that. Let’s get to the hot wedding chicks. All of the bridesmaids were beautiful. At the rehearsal in regular clothes, and in the gowns they wore in the wedding as well. Big E’s bridesmaids were her friends and also her sister, Little A. While the other bridesmaids were good looking, Big E and Little A were super hot! I mean, damn! They are sisters, and they share certain attributes. Or maybe I should say they share a certain pair of attributes. You know what I mean. I only bring this up to provide the necessary background for the rest of this story. Honest. Truly. There is no other reason. Hang on. I need a break. Back in a few.

Just kidding.

We get to the wedding itself. The bridesmaids are all wearing strapless gowns, except for Little A. Her gown has those spaghetti straps. As I mentioned before, Little A…how should I put this? Ummmm…ok. How bout this? Her “attributes” have the power to defeat any strapless gown. I mean a strapless gown can only provide a certain amount of support, and that amount is insufficient to meet Little A’s needs. Her gown is the same as the others, but with straps. A sensible accommodation to the reality of a very generous Mother Nature. Or so I thought. Later I found out her dress was different because she was the maid of honor. I guess I could buy that, but I just don’t see how she could have managed a strapless gown.

Now before you panic (prudes), or get too excited (freaks), keep in mind that these people are all in-laws. I’m only related to them by a marriage that doesn’t even exist anymore.

Maybe I told that rather crude story to balance this mushy stuff. The Godfather is just a super guy. I really admire the hell out of him. The kids are all nice, and it’s been neat to see them grow and change. And Mrs. Godfather says she knows someone I should go out with. More on that later. How could you not love them?

The wedding was absolutely wonderful. The ceremony, the decorations, all the people there. Best wedding I’ve been invited to. I am very finicky in many, many ways. I’m sure they’ll come up here and there. One area in which I’m finicky is wedding dresses. I hate almost all of them. They all seem to have some flaws. Big E’s dress was stunning and I really loved it. Mr. E, the new hubby, is a very nice guy and the ceremony was very moving. You’ve been to the wedding of a loved one; you know what I mean. I even got something in my eyes once or twice.

Actual Update: I left out a link about a concert up there. It should be good to go now.

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