Thursday, August 12, 2004


I Wish They All Could Be California…Guys?!?

Since I’m not in the military, about to be deployed, I’m not really eligible to enjoy the benefits of this wonderful organization here. You go look now!

But there’s still hope! FTheVote (I don’t have to spell out what the F stands for, do I?) has a similar mission. Rather than using feminine wiles to give the troops a warm send-off, FTheVote will use sex to encourage people to vote for anyone but Bush. The convertee signs a pledge saying he will vote for anyone but Bush. I say “he,” but the site makes clear that they are open to everyone, and that if you’re a guy who wants to be converted by another guy or a gal who wants to be converted by another gal, you are welcome too.

Let’s look at the possibilities: man converted by woman (MCW), woman converted by man (WCM), man converted by man (MCM), woman converted by woman (WCW). It’s nice to be inclusive and all, but the idea of the site is to trade a rare commodity (someone willing to have sex with you) for your commodity (agreeing to vote for anyone but Bush). The MCW exchange has value. Guys want lots of sex, and women are not as willing to fulfill those desires. In other words, a large portion of women that Billy wants to have sex with will not be interested in having sex with him. MCM doesn’t have this problem cause MCM deals with a bunch of guys who want to have lots of sex with other guys, who also want to have lots of sex with other guys. If both sides are willing, there is no rare commodity. WCM is another story. I don’t know if you know this, women, but the vast majority of you could, if you wanted, have lots more sex than you’re having now, because it very easy to find a guy who wants to have sex. For Billy, a sexually willing Sally is a rare commodity. For Sally, a sexually willing Billy is a dime a dozen; hell, he’s probably a nickel a dozen. So far, MCW is the only exchange of something of value. WCW? Well I don’t know. Anyone from that side of the aisle care to chime in? How easy is it for Sally to find a sexually willing Susie? Of course, since I’m a guy, none of this is really a barrier to me checking this thing out.

So I did. After all, I’m willing to be converted. Or at least to lie and say I’m willing. They think we’re liars anyway, and I’ve always hated letting people down. That’s the kind of nice guy I am. I’ll give it a shot, so to speak.

The page is extremely slow to load, but eventually, I was able to find thirteen Californians on the list. If you haven’t guessed from the title, the breakdown looks like this: willing Billys - 11, willing Sallys - 2.

Maybe I should visit my local recruiting office or something.
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