Saturday, July 10, 2004


Who Let The Bulls Out? Moo! Moo! Moo!

Haven’t we read these same stories, year after year, for years now? Somebody give this event the Captain Obvious award so we can quit wasting ink.

Although this one is actually worth it, mainly because it includes the phrase “butted in the rear.” No matter how you slice it, that’s a great line to read in a newspaper.

But really, do we need these again? Don’t we all know this already? What, are we going to see more obvious headlines? Here's a list of the Top Ten Obvious Headlines.

10. National Science Foundation Confirms Earlier Reports: Two Plus Two Does Equal Four.
9. NASA Study Determines Sun Is Hot.
8. Car Accidents Often Involve Cars, Says Highway Patrol.
7. John Bobbit: “Home Cock-ectomy Is Painful.”
6. Survey Reveals Wheelchair Bound Would Prefer Walking.
5. American Medical Association: Those Who Breathe Need Air
4. France Sucks.
3. Greenspan Declares: “Money Can Buy Stuff.”
2. John Wayne Kicks Ass.
1. Hillary = Evil, God Says.
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